Char leaves for three days in the morning, leaving me with all four kids (4, 2 1/2, and 5 month twins, one of which refuses to take a bottle.) And where is Grandma? One in Florida, one in North Carolina. Am I worried? You bet.

On the other hand, I’m the Dad, they’re my munchkins, so I can do this, right? I mean, I can do this. (That sounded a little more confident.) Ah, who am I kidding? The house will be destroyed when she gets back, but maybe we’ll qualify for disaster relief funds.

Looking forward to this like a toothache, but I’m reminded that Teresa Heinz-Kerry thinks that being a mother isn’t a real job. Maybe I should have her come watch the kids. Or, better yet, maybe I should just employ her cure for arthritis.

But I digress… my real question today is this: Does anyone have any tips for getting a baby to take a bottle? The answer might just save my life.